Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i was born a porn star she said
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
