At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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