Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
