guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
