things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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