You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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