I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
