we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
