oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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