i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
