I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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