his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
