He is an equal opportunity slut.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
