what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
