Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
