I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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