This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
