Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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