I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
