I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
