i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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