i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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