I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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