Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
