youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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