Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
