All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
