i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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