No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
