I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
