Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
