She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
