I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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