If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
