How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
