We're like a lot better than the average bears
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
