She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
