I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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