Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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