Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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