idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
