dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
do herpes really smell.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
