didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
