I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
