Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
