I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
