I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
