he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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