dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
