even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
