some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
