hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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