Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
