I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
