this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
